Editorial Report 12a

Here is the section I posted for my Production Report 11a:

UA Alerts. We’ve all heard of them. We’ve all been frustrated with them. But they haven’t always been unhelpful. They used to inform students about issues happening on or around campus. So what’s the deal lately? These alerts aren’t doing what they should be.

Here is the re-edited version of that same section:

UA Alerts. We’ve all heard of them. And it's needless to say that this year they have not fulfilled what they should be. But they haven’t always been this unhelpful. A couple years ago, according to older students, UA Alerts used to inform the campus about all events that posed a possible issue. So what happened this year? The alert system definitely needs to be reformed in order to continue providing safety around campus.

Questions:

1. How did the content change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

The only thing I really changed content wise is the wording. I basically just re-worded some things and moved sentences around so it would make more sense and sound better. I am still going to keep going back and editing the intro but I like this version more than the first.

2. How did the form change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

I do not think the form really changed because since it is still an essay the form is just text.