Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

You can find my "Fine Cut" of project 3 here. I think it's crazy that it's already time to turn this project in, it feels like yesterday that I was trying to pick a topic.

Something I want my peer reviewers to know is that I've worked really hard on this essay and this topic is very important to me, so if you find anything that needs fixing (before the 11:59 deadline of course) please tell me! I really want this essay to be the best it can be.

Something I'm worried about is that my sources are not in their properly or that I did not use them to the best that I could. So if anything you see needs to be fixed let me know.

Something I think is a strength is how I set up the paper, I think I have good information that flows in a logical way, making it easy for the reader to follow. I also think I did a good job of establishing credibility because of my personal experiences and describing things like that.

Reflection over Project 3

Well, project 3 is now completed and soon to be submitted. It's crazy to me that there is only a few weeks left of this semester and only one project left. I have to say, out of all three project so far, this was my favorite. That's a little ironic to say considering I did the essay for this one, isn't it? I liked this one so much though because of my topic, it was easy for me to get all of my ideas down because I knew so much about it and felt so strongly. Anyways, this post is just some questions to reflect.

1. What were some of the successes during this week's process work?

A success was definitely just writing the paper, I knew the information really well and exactly how I was going to organize it which definitely helped. Also, the editing went smoothly because I had left the draft alone for a few days and was able to come back to it fresh.

2. What were some of the challenges during this week's process work?

A challenge was finding time to get all of this done. This week was one of the busiest weeks I have had all semester with classes, assignments, and outside club activities. That definitely made it difficult to sit down and get everything done but hey, I did it.

3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?

Well, next week is a new project that I haven't looked at the requirements for yet, so hopefully it will go smoothly.

4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

I'm actually very proud of this essay. I worked really hard on it and feel as though I put a lot of valuable and credible information into it as well. I really enjoyed writing about this topic and I hope that it shows through my essay.

Editorial Report 13b

This blog post pertains to the first paragraph of my essay, from the very first draft to the current version.

Here is the very first draft of the first paragraph:

UA Alerts first took to the scene of the U of A campus back in 2007. Taken directly from the UA Alert FAQ site, UA Alerts “will” inform students and staff about violent activity, hazards, and major disruptions to university activity. These categories include things such as an active shooter, an immediate threat to the UA community, including off-campus events, power outages, gas leaks, etc. Sounds simple enough. Except these are not the alerts we are receiving. The only alerts students and staff have received during the 2015-2016 school year were as follows: power outages and a gas leak.

Here is the draft from my rough cut:

UA Alerts were first implemented on campus in 2007. But what are these alerts supposed to do? According to the UA Alert FAQ site, UA Alerts “will” inform students and staff about violent activity, hazards, and major disruptions to university activity. Including things such as an active shooter, an immediate threat to the UA community, including off-campus events, power outages, gas leaks, etc. Sounds like the alerts should be simple enough. However the only alerts students and staff have received during the 2015-2016 school year were about a gas leak and a couple power outages. Which would be fine except that other crimes including sexual assaults and a shooting across the street from campus also occurred.

Here is what I have at the present moment for the first paragraph:

UA Alerts first took to the scene of the U of A campus back in 2007. Taken directly from the UA Alert FAQ site, UA Alerts “will” inform students and staff about violent activity, hazards, and major disruptions to university activity. These categories include things such as an active shooter, an immediate threat to the UA community, including off-campus events, power outages, gas leaks, etc. Just by reading this from the website it would seem as though this a good system that informs students and staff of all dangers on and around campus in order to keep people safe. Unfortunately, these are not the alerts we are receiving. The only alerts students and staff have received during the 2015-2016 school year were as follows: power outages and a gas leak. However, there are definitely more instances of crime and potentially dangerous situations that have taken place. Yet, those things were not reported on.


Questions:

1. How did the content change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

Again, I added more information to further explain the alerts and how they are supposed to be. This gives a more clear basis to the reader about what the alerts should do, so when they read further it will help my argument develop more.

2. How did the form change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more efficiently in the re-edited version?


I felt as though the form was already strong for this paragraph so I think I just left that alone and focused more on editing the content.

Editorial Report 13a

This blog post is comparing and contrasting a couple of paragraphs from the very beginning of my project to the state it is in now.

Here is the very first draft of my opening paragraph:

UA Alerts. We’ve all heard of them. We’ve all been frustrated with them. But they haven’t always been unhelpful. They used to inform students about issues happening on or around campus. So what’s the deal lately? These alerts aren’t doing what they should be.

Here is the version from my rough cut:


UA Alerts. We’ve all heard of them. And it's needless to say that this year they have not fulfilled what they should be. But they haven’t always been this unhelpful. A couple years ago, according to older students, UA Alerts used to inform the campus about all events that posed a possible issue. So what happened this year? The alert system definitely needs to be reformed in order to continue providing safety around campus.


Here is the updated version I have now:

UA Alerts. We have all heard of them. We have all been frustrated with them. We have all wondered why we are not receiving information. But they have not always been this unhelpful. Only a few years ago they used to help students and inform them of what was happening on campus. So what is the deal lately? These alerts definitely are not doing what they should be.

Questions:

1. How did the content change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

I added more information to help the introduction lead into the essay better. I think this creates not only a stronger introduction but also a more clear introduction to allow the reader to more easily understand what the entire essay will be talking about.

2. How did the form change when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more efficiently in the re-edited version?

The main thing is that I took out all contractions. As I was editing it I realized that in a typical college essay contractions are looked down upon so I need to make sure I take them out of the rest of my essay as well. I feel as though it makes the beginning sound more professional already.

Peer Review for Emily Bond

This blog post is a peer review about the form of Emily Bond's QRG. You can find her project here.

Some strengths of Emily's QRG are the amount of pictures and the color of the QRG as well. There is definitely a good balance between pictures and text which is crucial for a QRG. Also, the pictures are colorful, which makes it even more appealing to look at. I also like how the pictures are off to the side of the text and not just in the middle which adds more variety.

Some suggestions I have:
- Bottom of page 5 the picture (on my computer at least) is halfway off the bottom of the page and therefore cannot be seen.
- Make sure to cite the pictures underneath! Even if you can't put a link for them at least put in small text where you got them from.

Overall I think your QRG looks great! I can tell you put a lot of time into it to make everything flow nicely together. The things above are things that should be changed so you don't get points taken off!

Peer Review for Benjamen Meyer

This blog post is a peer review of the form of Benjamen Meyer's QRG about the new SAT. You can find his project here.

Some of the strengths of the form of this QRG is the balance between photos and text. I personally don't think one is dominating the other which makes it appealing to the eye as you are reading. Also, the paragraphs are very short which also makes for an easy read and not a dreadful long paragraph of text on the page.

Some things that could be improved:
- More color should be added. Besides the very first picture, everything else on the pages are black and white. Don't get me wrong, the pictures you already have are very interesting, but to make your QRG pop even more, more color should be added.
- Check the spacing between your pictures and the text. Since everything is black and white and since some of the pictures are too close to the text its hard to distinguish what is your writing and what is part of the picture.

Overall I think you did a great job! It looks very clean and I can tell you put a lot of work into it, the changes I gave are just some suggestions to make it even stronger!

Reflection on Project 3 (So Far)

This blog post is talking about how I feel at the end of this week's work on project 3 so far.

1. What were some of the successes during this week's process work?

Some of the successes this week were gathering my content. Because I am passionate about this topic, it was fairly easy to write the main ideas of all of the points I wanted to talk about, which made things a lot easier.

2. What were some of the challenges during this week's process work?

Adding sources, I have yet to do that because I am having trouble figuring out where to add them, but they will be added before the end of next week.

3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?

I do have quite a bit of work to do next week with adding the sources and polishing up the essay. However, I know I can handle it and get it done, especially since I like the topic I am writing about.

4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

Overall I'm feeling pretty confident, i feel as though I have a strong argument I just need to develop it more. I know that I can accomplish that though and have confidence in myself to do so, so I'm pleased with how this project is going at the moment.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

Pasted below is the "rough cut" of my essay about the UA Alert system. I simply pasted it below because I originally wrote it in a word document and didn't want to create a google docs... sorry.

Key information: I have not yet added the sources to my essay, so that is still to come. I do have a lot of sources I have just yet to find the correct place to add each one, that is why they are not in yet, I wanted to focus on the main content first. Also, it is still a rough cut, some paragraphs are definitely too short and more stuff will be added, but like I said, it's a rough cut.

Strengths: I feel as though I have a lot of good information so far in this essay because of my personal experience with the topic. I also feel as though I'm conveying the information in an interesting way that will make my audience want to continue to read it.

Weaknesses: Some of the sentences sound too casual I feel, for a college essay. And my lack of sources, but I already mentioned that. Any advice on this would be very helpful.

Rough Cut:

The Problem with UA Alerts

            UA Alerts. We’ve all heard of them. We’ve all been frustrated with them. But they haven’t always been unhelpful. They used to inform students about issues happening on or around campus. So what’s the deal lately? These alerts aren’t doing what they should be.

            UA Alerts first took to the scene of the U of A campus back in 2007. Taken directly from the UA Alert FAQ site, UA Alerts “will” inform students and staff about violent activity, hazards, and major disruptions to university activity. These categories include things such as an active shooter, an immediate threat to the UA community, including off-campus events, power outages, gas leaks, etc. Sounds simple enough. Except these are not the alerts we are receiving. The only alerts students and staff have received during the 2015-2016 school year were as follows: power outages and a gas leak.

            Here are some things the UA Alerts have not reported on that have happened this year: sexual assaults, a shooting right across the street from campus, robberies at knife point. Not a single UA Alert was sent out about any of these things. In my opinion, as well as the majority of UA students, those alerts are far more important than a power outage. Technically these alerts are “reported” on the UA main website under the Crime Alerts tab. However, this tab does not alert anyone about anything. I did not even know that tab existed until I was doing more research last semester about the unhelpful UA Alerts.

            Although students have attempted to take steps to fix these alerts, not much progress has been made. Some of the things students have done to try and bring attention to these alerts are writing articles in the U of A newspaper, the Daily Wildcat. These articles talk about different issues that have not been reported on as well as reasons why the alerts should be reformed. Personally, on February 22, 2016 I emailed the president of the university, Ann Hart, with concerns about these alerts. The response I got back was from Chris Sigurdson, who is an assistant of President Hart that apparently works directly with UAPD. His response to me was less than satisfactory and quite concerning in relation to what the faculty perceives about the alerts. I then again responded with more concerns relating to the UA Alerts to which I got no response. This was very concerning to me that a member of the U of A staff working closely with the president of the university simply disregarded a student’s concerns.

However, the efforts made by me as well as other students here at the U of A proved to be somewhat successful. Three “alerts” were sent out via email to students involving a robbery, a BB gun shooting, and a sexual assault. While I, as well as my peers, are very pleased to have received these alerts, they were still not UA Alerts. Meaning, they were not sent out via text like the UA Alerts are supposed to be. Another concern I have is that these alerts are also sent out four or five hours after the fact, that is not helpful to students because they could be traveling to the area where these crimes took place unknowing of the danger possibly there. So although the alert system in place here at U of A is improving, there is definitely still more work to do. Why aren’t these alerts being sent out through the UA Alert system? That doesn’t make sense to me or my peers.

It is extremely important for more students (and faculty) to gain a voice about this issue because it pertains directly to the safety of anyone on and/or around campus. Yes, there are “alerts” of some sort, but not what we signed up for. These alerts still have a lot of reforming to do before they can accurately provide the best student safety possible.